To Killian, on his 11th birthday

Today is very special, not only because it is your birthday, but it is also Mother's Day. Eleven years ago, on Mother's Day, you were born. I can think of no better way to spend Mother's Day than spending it in celebration of you, my oldest child.

Your birth was a very much anticipated event, and we longed to meet you and hold you in our arms. We loved you before we saw your tiny little face, a cleft chin that looked like a little cherry under your mouth, a beautiful, perfect baby boy. We held you all the time. You even slept on my chest for most of your first year--basically refusing to sleep anywhere else. I didn't get a lot done, but I knew it would go fast, and I didn't want to look back and think, "I wish I had held him more."

You have grown so fast, sometimes without me even noticing. Here you are, beginning your second decade on this earth. It seems you have been a part of our lives forever. It has been such a privilege and an honor to see you grow, to watch you learn and take interest in the world around you. You are a kind and loving young man. You are smart beyond belief. I love to see you teaching and sharing with your siblings. I know sometimes it is hard to be a big brother, to be expected to do things because you are older, and to be expected not to do things because you are older. Often, I am impatient, and I am sorry for that. I know that, so often, you are trying hard to be a good person, trying hard to do what is expected. You often deserve more credit than you receive.

I love how dedicated and loving you are to all of your family. I love that you are always thinking. I love that you love mashed potatoes and cheeseburgers and insects and amphibians.

I always, knew, Killian, that I wanted to be a mom. I never knew, my boy, just how much you would teach me and show me about the world. I am truly, truly blessed to have you as my little boy.

I love you.

Mom